#4 – The Seven Year Itch Theory

The other day I was lamenting to Laura, one of Bee Hive’s lovely sales associates, how I hit the fifth year with Bee Hive, and my event planning for the store started running out of steam. (I am exceptionally fortunate to have Laura working at Bee Hive. She is retired from the ministry and works at the store, not for the extremely high salary I am able to pay her (ahem), but for the sheer love of it.) She very matter-of-factly replied, “That’s natural, the fifth year – you figure things out. You go through the process of asking yourself whether you truly want to do what you’re doing.”
“That’s actually a thing?” I asked
Laura went on to explain how the consecutive years in the ministry worked:
Fourth year: You are comfortable and know the job
*Fifth year: You are idle and figuring out if you want to continue doing it.
Sixth year: You rev up your engine again.
Seventh year: After going for it again in your sixth year, you decide to either leave or recommit.

After Laura and I had this conversation, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Perhaps this isn’t something I should admit as the owner of a small business that I have built on the hope of being a hub of activity for the community, but the last few months – my fifth year – I have definitely been feeling idle. Like I don’t quite have as much gas in my tank as I want, to be as scrappy as I need to be.  The scrappiness it takes to shrug off whatever it is at that moment there is to deal with  – transitioning neighborhood, construction next door, funky weather, a low tourist season, locals elsewhere on spring break, summer break, winter break . I had a conversation recently with a friend who is also a business owner in town. She was hinting at the challenge of it all. Yes,  it takes emotional fortitude to roll with the punches of having your own business. It is an extreme mind game all the time in order to surrender to the fact that you have very little control of how things will be day-to-day. Some days it is easier to surrender than others. Other days,  it is pure torture. It can be an emotional ping-pong match. But the emotional ping-pong match does not just pertain to being a small business owner. It is relevant to any career or life focus. Some days, or years, you just don’t  feel as up for playing the game.

But the emotional ping-pong match does not just pertain to being a small business owner. It is relevant to any career or life focus. Some days, or years, you just don’t feel as up for playing the game.

So back to Laura’s pearls of wisdom –  I’m intrigued by the time frame. Is this a gauge we can apply to other areas of life as well? Relationships? Parenting? – those kids hit five-years-old  and you gotta decide whether you want to keep doing it or send them back. 🙂 Where you’re located? An area of study? It seems like something to consider. You could just keep going for years and years without questioning, but why do that when there is this guide to give you cues on where it makes sense for you to be psychologically and emotionally with each year of a commitment?  Perhaps, this is actually the holy grail of life! After seven years, if you make it that far, you think long and hard and you either leave or recommit.

If nothing else, I must admit this four-year outline, gave me some comfort. I have been feeling guilty. And like a slacker. And that I just don’t have what it takes to make the Bee Hive a success. Ever since Laura explained this in a very matter-of-fact way, it’s helped me be a little more gentle with myself. Like, hey, it’s the fifth year! I’m supposed to be idle! I’m figuring stuff out. And by the sixth year, I’ll be ready to go again.

Recently, I was approached with an opportunity to walk away from Bee Hive. To leave the emotional ping-pong match behind. It was a real test for me. A real 5-year-trying-to-figure-out-if-you-want-to-stick-with-it test. It was a decision I needed to be faced with. I believe I mulled it over pretty thoroughly. And the answer was extremely crystal clear. No way. No way am I walking away from this. Not now anyway. I may be feeling a little low on gas. But I’m not done.

I’m sure the sixth year will be a piece of cake – I’m about ready to be revved up again. The seven-year itch? I’m not afraid.