#48 – Call Me…If You Get Lost

As I have sort of been readjusting my eyes back to the light after the last several months and gaining perspective on…so much…One of the biggest things that is glaring to me – is the state of our kids. Not just the little kids who struggled through remote learning and being away from their friends – though that certainly was heinous. But, our big kids…

Anyone who has been through adolescence knows, firsthand, that it is no joke. There are endless landmines to dodge and weave your way through. The issues come fast and furious: family, racial, financial, sexuality, self-esteem, academic pressures, peer pressures, societal pressures, and, often, where you will get your next meal or sleep that night. This is content that fills many, many middle grade and YA books. Except – this stuff doesn’t just live in books.

It has become a rare conversation with people with kids that isn’t about some sort of concern or challenge that their kids are having. Depression, confusion, anger, family problems, addiction…

The kids in my own family – both my children and close relatives – in the past few months, have experienced very real painful experiences that have sent them on gut-wrenching emotional roller coasters. They are incredibly fortunate to have counselors on speed dial, if they need it, but youth mental health is in such a precarious state at the moment, that child therapists have become impossible to nail down.

According to Mental Health American (the leading non-profit in this country dedicated to addressing mental health issues);

Young people are struggling most with their mental health. The proportion of youth ages 11-17 who accessed screening was 9 percent higher than the average in 2019. Not only are the number of youth searching for help with their mental health increasing, but throughout the COVID-19 pandemic youth ages 11-17 have been more likely than any other age group to score for moderate to severe symptoms of anxiety and depression.

9.7% of youth in our country have severe Major Depression. 60% of youth with depression do not receive treatment.

It has become a rare conversation with people with kids that isn’t about some sort of concern or challenge that their kids are having. Depression, confusion, anger, family problems, addiction…

This is a state of emergency – one that can not be glossed over. Or, turned away from.

Most nights when I am making dinner – Olive always asks what she can do to help. Recently, Cash has also started offering his assistance. I am often rushing, trying just to get dinner on the table for my two hungry kids, that I usually answer – Thank you – I will let you know… Cash’s response lately has been, “Ok, just call me if you get lost.”

Yes.

Call me…

If you get lost…

Would it be helpful to just let our kids know that if they get lost, or are feeling lost – that they can call us?

That we have their backs?

That they don’t have to be lost – alone?

I am no mental health professional. Not even close. But, I have experienced that obstacle course that is adolescence. And, I can say that growing up, I most definitely did not feel seen by the grown ups in my life. I had great, close friends – but, I can’t help but wonder if the support of grown ups could have eased the loneliness and confusion that I inevitably went through.

I know the other day, when Cash had tears welling up and was super anxious over something that he had to face – when I looked into his eyes and said, “Hey, I have your back”, the fear in his eyes melted a little, and he mustered up the strength to go forward.

Feeling that you are not alone, should you get lost, goes a long, long way.

For all humans.

I think we are all hopeful that once our kids are back to in-person school full-time, with their people, doing the things they love again on a regular basis – that the issues that result in anxiety, depression, uncertainty, confusion, etc, etc – will mellow out and we can go back to “normal”.

But should we consider whether the state of emergency that our kids are in, manifested before or during the pandemic? Whether, perhaps, the calls were dimmed by all the “normalcy” – and, then when things got quiet – the calls got really really LOUD…

It may be impossible to know. And, generalizations ridiculous to make. At least by a book store owner who is just speculating in a blog post.

Regardless – “normal”, pandemic, or otherwise,

it may be worth – on a very regular basis – reminding  our beautiful, hurting kids to,

Call us…

If they get lost.