Last fall, when things were looking up – I got really excited about experiences. I got super focused on making plans. I was so ready to make up for the last year and a half of our very limited cocoon. The one that was squashing my breathing. Cramping my social life. And, depriving me from the option of drinking wine on the Amalfi Coast or tea in Kyoto….(because, you know, these are places I went on a regular basis before...)

I jumped on tickets to take my daughter to see Hamilton.

I planned a spring trip to Paris – my most favorite place on the planet – with airplane tickets that are burning a hole in my pocket from a family trip that was canceled the summer of 2020.

I started planning and plotting the return of the Bee Hive book club and other events related to all the new inventory in the store.

I warmed up to the idea of safely enjoying margaritas out with friends.

I was just so giddy. With anticipation.

Relief.

The idea of…breathing room.

Right.

It doesn’t seem necessary for me to go into where all these plans are now – a few months later.

 

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Something that I have to mindfully do on a regular basis – in this moment – is to create space. With deep breaths. You know – when I get an email that either Olive or Cash is a close contact, or one of them has a stuffy nose, or the Bee Hive’s or my home’s walls or Santa Fe seem to be closing in on me. Or – there is another snow day…(really?)

Deep breaths.

Closing my eyes in silence a little bit longer with each day.

Reading, reading, reading.

About far away places…

and crazy people – who aren’t me.

Transporting myself – through movies – to cities and islands, and glamorous situations.

And, more closed eye silence.

A LOT of yoga.

I mean – seriously – I am on the path to possibly becoming a frickin’ monk. (With all due respect.)

Right now, for me, it is the only path.

The alternative would be the whiskey path. Never a good idea.

I am not going to lie. I have not arrived to monk-dom yet. There are definitely moments when I feel I might go crazy. Or, perhaps – am going crazy?

The feeling of not having a handle on anything for so long – has taken a toll.

But I feel this moment is an excellent opportunity to exercise the ability to alter the space around us. And, that space could literally be what the cut-out of our bodies would be.

Currently, one of my mini transports has been Beijing by way of watching the Winter Olympics. I have found watching the athletes visualize their courses beforehand so fascinating. Their bodies and heads bobbing as they literally perform their route or routine in their head, seeing…feeling…their perfect outcome. And – from what I have witnessed – then going on to successfully nail their event.

…that space could literally be what the cut-out of our bodies would be.

I don’t think I have ever been very good at visualization.

But, this morning as I was walking to the Bee Hive from my car – the sun felt so warm. The warmest I have felt in a while. The last couple of days – have challenged my space-making and pushed me more towards the crazy edge. But…the warmth…I took a deep breath, really felt the sun on my face – and, for a few seconds – I was no longer on Montezuma Avenue, but on the beach.

Truly.

Early morning beach. Warm sun. Waves gently rolling in and out. The sand slightly wet. Very few people.

And…that moment was exactly what I needed. To move away from the crazy edge and closer to the space-making edge.

The place of presence.

And, peace.

And – I got excited. To go to the beach. The one I have to physically travel to. Or, the one I will visit again the next time I feel the warmth of the sun on my face. Either way – I know it is there for me.

It is so easy to get caught up in a swirl of yuckiness. We have every right to. And, every opportunity.

But – it is possible – to take a minute.

Take a deep breath.

Make some space.

And, be somewhere else…