It won’t be the same again. I mean – it could, maybe some day, potentially, feel like it did before.

But.

It won’t…

ever be the same again.

What we all have been through, this past year, it is more weighty then – just – bouncing back. As if – nothing ever happened.

Yes, we will probably go to movies and out to dinner and over to other people’s houses again. Eventually.

But.

I feel – changed. I feel the Bee Hive is – changed. I feel the community around Bee Hive – is changed.

And, I want to honor that.

I can’t say that I am not fearful – to open the doors again – to the public. To put myself and my family and the Bee Hive in that vulnerable position.

And, honestly, I have no idea when that will happen.

With out of town visitors sure to start rushing in again. I am weary. And gun-shy. And, in no hurry.

As with most, my kids have been in the situation of being home for the past year. It has taken an almost ridiculous sort of juggle (as so many parents have experienced) – running the Bee Hive while tending to Cash and Olive’s emotional, academic, and psychological health at the same time. Unfortunately, I have not quite honed my superhero powers enough to succeed at fulfilling the need and desire to be in two places at once. Yet, Olive and Cash always trump everything else. And I wonder how and when that complicated juggle may subside. Just a little.

But, I have had a lot of time. Alone in the Bee Hive. To think. Mull over. And, really form in which direction I want it be of service in its next phase. How to make the most of this opportunity at a rebirth.

What’s come out of the lengthy process of mulling – is a sort of reflection of the journey this last year has taken me on personally.

“I have had a lot of time. Alone in the Bee Hive. To think. Mull over….How to make the most of this opportunity at a rebirth.”

Lots of cooking. Lots of time at home. A desire to improve on who I am – mind and spirit. A desire to improve on how I am in this world. A desire to read women writers – fiction, poetry, memoirs. A desire to experience other places. A desire to stay well – both physically and emotionally. Robustly so.

A desire…for the Bee Hive to serve a more diverse crowd.

And so –  I have been ordering books. Not just a few here and there.

But, hundreds of new titles for Bee Hive.

Women’s fiction. Lots and lots of fiction by women writers of all kinds. As well as poetry and memoirs. Non-fiction by scientists, social activists, and politicians.

Gorgeous books about food – cooking it and growing it. And, mixing a mean cocktail.

Books that show other people’s homes. In all sorts of lovely, amazing settings.

Books about self-improvement and wellness.

And, because customers have been asking me for years – just more grown up books – male authors included! – in general.

So fun!

And super scary.

There have been no kids books sacrificed in this process – I swear.

In fact, in the midst of my shifting and recreating – my ten-year-old son came in the store, he looked around, and said in awe, “It looks like Christmas morning…”

So – I believe – it is kid-approved.

And, I hope – very much grown up approved.

It is not the pre-pandemic Bee Hive. All the toys and puzzles and the beanbag chair are gone. I am not sure how they could not be.

At this moment in time – I can’t imagine another story time as of before: small space, lots of kids and parents touching books, each other, and sharing instruments and scarfs.

But – something else – something that feels safe and comfortable and appropriate will take the place when the time is right…

And, I am hopeful, that there will be other events on offer to serve a broader audience. And, perhaps, help recreate connection among us that have been starving for it – for each other, for way too long.

My thought is perhaps an oasis can be provided.

Well, that’s the idea, anyway.

Both in a carefully thought-out selection of books.

And, in those that they bring together…

In the meantime – this transition – not just between the past, present, and future of Bee Hive, but also the bridge between a world of people getting sick – and safety – is challenging. And, uncharted. And, uncertain. And, I feel, needs to be taken incredibly seriously.

So, the Bee Hive’s timeline is…day by day.

I promise though – things are on the way to being bright and shiny. And different. And, I hope, in the process of becoming better than before.

Because…

You all deserve better than before.

XOX