As a species, solitude is not something we respond to naturally. Yes, we can get used to it. Or, at least learn to live with it. But we are not innately a solitary species. We are pack animals. Our comfort lies in connection. And a sense of belonging. Being a part of something.
When a hurricane occurs and devastates huge swaths of a community – people respond in the most magnificent, heroic ways. And they don’t just cherry-pick who they try to help. The color of a person’s skin or their religious beliefs don’t play into whether or not others try to come to their aid. It’s just – “They are one of us and they need help and we will do what it takes to save them.” People aren’t rescued from burning buildings because they match a certain demographic criteria. It is because, as a human race, if one of ours is in trouble or threatened, it is our natural response to do what we can to help. Why it takes a disaster or near-death experience for this to kick in, I’m not sure. Perhaps being in that completely focused state, strips all away except what really matters.
We are tribal to the core.
I don’t believe being involved on social media would be considered the same as being a part of a tangible community. Or texting as the same as a face to face conversation with someone. It is the In Real Time connections that satisfies the needs we have as humans to feel significant and seen.
Something to consider…
I heard a story recently about a baby who was trying to get the attention of his mother who was occupied on her phone. He was doing all that he could to get her to see him. Pay attention to him. She kept batting him away. Finally, the baby grabbed the phone. Getting the message that that was what he needed the attention from, he gave up on his mom and tried for that instead.
We live in an increasingly impersonal, solitary world. And it goes against the grain of our natural make up. If we allow human connection to disintegrate, there will be nothing left but a very fractured human race. And babies who turn to phones for love and attention.
We are tribal. We need one another to feel a sense of belonging, to grow, and to be nourished.
It’s very easy to be swept up in our day-to-day routines and habits. In the convenience of all that has been made more and more convenient. But another year is coming to an end. And I can’t help but speculate if that means we are that much closer to losing our sense of that which makes us human. Our pack sensibility. Our desire to be a part of something that is real and tangible. That feeling that makes us truly feel alive.
I gotta believe we can achieve that without a devastating disaster taking place. Or, I wonder if that’s what it takes these days to come together as a community?
Something to consider is taking a vow to never allow our kids to believe that phones are the real source for love and attention. I think that, perhaps, if we are mindful of that, it could, at least, give us a sense of hope for where the future of our tribe is headed.
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