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Month: October 2017

#14 – The True Hero

It was exactly a year from the day, that we finished the first Harry Potter book, to the day we finished the last. What a fantastic, beautiful, magical ride its been.

And what an ending! Ohmygosh, Olive, Cash, and I were on the edge of our seats. It was so exciting, I was practically yelling as I was reading the pages of the final show-down. So good.

Anyone who’s read the Harry Potter series or knows anything about it, is familiar with Molly Weasley. The matriarch of the large Weasley clan and a surrogate mother to Harry via his close friendship with Ron and his romantic attachment to Ginny – the only daughter of the seven siblings. Molly’s role in the series is very much the maternal figure who constantly worries about the various dangers her family and Harry are always in. She is also the knitter of the ubiquitous Christmas sweaters, as well as the cook and host for her very consistent stream of house guests. Mrs. Weasley does enough mothering to make up for the absence of all the other mothers in Harry Potter world.

Molly Weasley is also pure-blood witch.

*Spoiler alert! From here on, if you haven’t read the series and you plan to, you might want to stop reading. I’d hate to ruin the end for you…*

The on-the-edge-of-your-seat scene that the seven-book-takes-a-year-to-read-series eventually boils down to, finally gives Molly her beautiful hybrid mother/witch glory.

It is all out war. The good guys vs. the bad guys. Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange, his loyal, super-nasty first lieutenant are fighting side-by-side – Voldemort fighting Harry and three Hogwarts faculty members, aka wizards, Bellatrix fighting Hermione, Ginny, and Luna Lovegood. Bellatrix throws out a killing curse that misses Ginny only by inches. Harry sees and changes course from Voldemort to go after Bellatrix, when he is knocked sideways.

“NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!”

Mrs. Weasley steps in and goes at Bellatrix with so much badass, mother-energy power, that the whole war stops – Voldemort, Harry, everyone quits fighting to watch the two witches battle to take each other down. People try to step in to help Molly, but she yells, “No! Get back! She is mine!”

Mrs. Weasley ends up polishing off Bellatrix and basically paves the way for Harry to than polish off Voldemort. It ends the same way it all began, with a mother’s love so strong, that it saves the life of her child.

It was very empowering reading, shouting really, that scene. With all that we’ve been witnessing about women being and feeling threatened, disempowered, intimidated, fearful, shamed, blamed, and on and on, by bad, bad guys, who maybe think they are as powerful as wizards, but aren’t even close – it was a good reminder. Not only do we need to love our kids fiercely. We need to be examples for them too. They need to see us in all our badass glory protecting ourselves, them, justice, and the fight for good. We need to show them it is ok to stand up for ourselves, each other, and all that is right.

Yes, knit your kids sweaters, worry about them, bake them cookies. But also, fight like hell. And let them watch.

#13 – The Best Medicine of All

It is thought that to empty your mind, or to have a clear-head, can be the answer to all problems. No racing thoughts = nothing to figure out or solve. All is calm. It is the well-documented reason that meditation is believed – medically, scientifically, and spiritually – to be so beneficial for aiding stress and a myriad of other issues. But what about when life and the world-at-large is just so overwhelming that there is no head-clearing to be had? The thoughts and fears and confusion just won’t settle down? No amount of sitting and breathing will produce the quiet you’re hoping for?

Books.

Thank god for books. And stories. And awesome writers that create worlds we can get lost in. Through life’s many curve balls, and ups and downs, and challenging stretches – books have been my refuge. My safe place where I escape to. I know that whether the news is one long thread of horror, or I am bummed out, or angry, or heart-broken, or discouraged, or lonely, or just in a general I-can’t-take-it-anymore space – a book will take my hand and lead me to a different place. What I’m reading may be difficult or emotional, but it’s not my difficulty or emotion. And that is validating. That others – even if they are fictional characters – also go through difficult and emotional experiences. That life isn’t just a glossy, perfect place and you’re a freak if you experience otherwise. That validation can be as head-clearing as sitting buddha-still.

“What I’m reading may be difficult or emotional, but it’s not my difficulty or emotion. And that is validating. That others – even if they are fictional characters – also go through difficult and emotional experiences.”

Immersing myself in the lives or fantastical worlds of others through books has always been a monumental source of comfort for me. What’s proved to be just as comforting, if not more so, is reading out-loud to Cash and Olive. From when they were each just tiny and I read Goodnight Moon every single day before naps and bedtime, to now and their obsession with Harry Potter, reading together feels like a sweet escape. No matter what has happened that day for them – maybe nobody sat with Cash at lunch or Olive is frustrated with her math homework – or for me – really bad stuff in the news that I can not shake and don’t share with the two of them – our time reading together wipes the slate clean – at least in that moment. It is impossible to not be swept away by their complete attention and focus on the story. And when it is a complicated story-line full of all matters of magic – you gotta pay attention or you can’t answer the questions that come up for clarification. So it does become a sort of cocoon away from the real world. Head-clearing. Mind-emptying of everything but the lovely world you are in with each other.

Clearly, I’m not saying anything here that hasn’t been known since the written word has been around. That people read to escape. To be swept away. To be in another person’s shoes for a bit. But with all the distraction of our devices and constant instant access to news, sometimes the books on our bedside tables are quick to collect dust.  With all that it takes on a regular basis just to deal with living that, that is the human condition and then scooping on top of that all which has been happening lately in the world, I’ve been reminded how much I can lean on books.

“It does become a sort of cocoon away from the real world. Head-clearing. Mind-emptying of everything but the lovely world you are in with each other.”

Clearing your head is a necessity. Staying grounded and taking one moment at a time is imperative. Deep breaths – super important. And, reading. Something you can relate to, or perhaps something you can not. In your own world, or that world with which you share with others. Goodnight Moon. Harry Potter…. It all ends the same way. Feeling like maybe you stepped away from it all for a bit. The other place that you are transported to, could be the gateway to sitting still long enough to actually quiet your mind.