the bee hive chronicles

books.kids.love.other suff

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#35 – ¡Viva la (shhh) Revolución!

February 8, 2020 /

It has gotten to the point where I sometimes feel a little crazy. Actually, all the time, I feel a lot crazy. It is not just the constant question of “Why am I doing what I am doing?” I am reminded of the passion I have for what I am doing on a daily basis. This other crazy comes from the desire to fight time, technology, and behemoth corporations – one in particular that I can’t seem to get away from. I want books and book stores to matter. Kids to love the printed word. And thought be put into where and how things are purchased.

Clearly, I need to work on my practice of radical acceptance.

Recently though this quote crossed my path from a speech made by Allison Hill, the incoming CEO of the American Bookseller’s Association:

“That’s my new job, to help ensure that the people, all of you carrying out the quiet revolutionary act to make the world better every day through books, bookselling and bookstores, continue to survive and thrive.”

It made me feel a little less nuts. And a bit more empowered.

After all – if there is anything I’ve always aspired to be, it would be a revolutionary. One hundred percent.

And, it got me to thinking about other quiet revolutionary acts – and how many of such acts, are able to go a really, really long way.

I don’t believe you have to shout from rooftops in order for actions to be effective. The simple act of where we choose to spend our money makes an enormous impact. Our communities are touched profoundly by our choices. I have seen it first-hand with Bee Hive – customers on a regular basis are the difference between paying the bills and not paying the bills. The people, and our dollars, have complete power.

“I want books and book stores to matter. Kids to love the printed word. And thought be put into where and how things are purchased.”

I have a friend who owns a couple restaurants in town. He pointed out to me that a certain large grocery store offers prepared foods in such a large variety, that people no longer have to go anywhere else to get their tacos or sushi or pizza. It is all in one place for them. The act of consciously venturing out of the grocery store to local restaurants will help my friend (and other’s like him) keep his unique, super delicious, community-oriented/enhancing restaurants in business.

There are so many other little things – riding your bike instead of driving, recycling, voting, teaching our children well, using refillable water bottles, supporting local farmers and artisans….so easily done – enjoyable even! – that would be considered part of a quiet revolution. I think.

It has always been my intention to not knock people over the head with my personal political views. But, truly, it is difficult to not be political when you are a book store, or any small business, owner. It is impossible to not shout – and from the rooftops this time – for people to please be aware of the monumental impact our actions have. The choices we make – are everything.

As long as things stay on the trajectory they are on – I will continue to make myself crazy with the desire to fight time, technology, and behemoth corporations.

But, I also live in the hope that the mini quiet revolutions that are going on in various forms all around us – will add up to something significant. Life changing even. And we, the people, will make a difference. The kind of difference that will matter. The kind of difference that will nourish our communities. Heal the weak connections among us. And, will, ultimately, feed us in a way that will allow us to rise up and take back the power that we truly have access to.

SHHHH.

Although LOUD is good, too.

 

 

 

 

#34 – And….Gratitude….

December 29, 2019 /

As partly documented here, on this blog, 2019 was a year of struggles and challenges. For Bee Hive, myself – personally, and, I believe, for many others. And, while I am truly pooped from it all – and perhaps a little scarred; rather then kicking it in the rear on its way out, I would prefer to smudge out 2019 with gratitude. And hope. Because, there is always light. To lean into.

My muses, inspirations, and in 2019 – on some mornings – my motivating factors for getting out of bed in the morning – are Olive and Cash. When Bee Hive first opened – they were both very small. Olive was just turning four – Cash was one and a half. They have always loved the store – but they never quite had the staying power to be there for hours – just hanging out reading or whatever. Olive has, actually for the past few years – but never Cash. After half an hour – he’s ready to leave. This year, that changed. Cash has become just as voracious a reader as his sister, and now all he wants to do is be at the Bee Hive. At home, his new favorite game is Bee Hive – a phone rings and he answers “Hello, Bee Hive, this is Christian – how may I help you?” He answers people’s questions, and using the Bee Hive website – helps them order books. (I wonder if perhaps he is plotting a take-over?) Olive is now 12 and I am already planning her summer around her being at the store – getting to know the computer system, becoming comfortable around customers, and perhaps filling in here and there. She is literally a walking catalog of most of the books in the store and would be an amazing bookseller. It is the vision I’ve always had for Bee Hive. And, for Olive and Cash. For them to truly be apart of it. I feel that they will go on to do other beautiful things with their lives and I have no intention of forcing any sort of family business on them – but, for this moment in time – I am so grateful that they are filling the Bee Hive with their sweet enthusiasm and big, bold interest and truly love and appreciate it. And, that all that Olive wanted for Christmas was books. And, a Bee Hive gift certificate.

“Let’s give ourselves a big, fat break – and read a book in the new year. Read ourselves to safety. To sanity. To comfort. To freedom. To emotionally healthy kids. All of it is, literally, a book away…”

It took me a while to figure it out – because I tend to get attached to people – but kids grow up. I believe the first round of Santa Fe kids who grew up with the store since it opened eight years ago – have outgrown the Bee Hive. Sadly. I miss them. Of course. But – and again, it took me a while to figure this out – there is a whole new crew of kids! They are now coming to story times or our writing workshops. Or, coming by the store regularly to pick up the next book in their current series. And, this crew will be with us for a while. And then, gradually, they will stop coming. And I will miss them. And be sad. And then new faces will start coming! Thank goodness for the cycle of life. For better or for worse.

Books. Of course. God, I am so grateful for books. The stories that connect us. Validate us. Make us feel not so alone. Or weird. Or crazy. Or whatever. And the gorgeous books that we are so lucky to have being published now, are incredible tools. For our kids. For ourselves. Let’s give ourselves a big, fat break – and read. Read ourselves to safety. To sanity. To comfort. To freedom. To emotionally healthy kids. All of it is, literally, a book away…

I am so grateful for moments of In Real Life connection. It feels so valuable. I don’t care who it is with. A friend. My kids. A stranger. Just – connection. I want to connect – and not about the stupid weather. How are you? I mean, really, how are you? Cause, you know, life is hard, and connection is what gets us through. As always – I am grateful for the lovely customers who come in the store – I think we’ve gotten each other through some rough days. Perhaps, without even knowing it.

Santa Fe! I was driving through town, there was fresh snow and lots of happy holiday tourists, filling the streets. Loving our awesome restaurants. Spending money in our shops. Skiing on our super fun mountain. Just so delighted to be in this unique town. Because, I was reminded – it is a pretty great place. We are truly fortunate to live here. And we are truly fortunate to have the visitors who descend upon town during certain times of the year. We would not survive without them. And, they remind us. Of all that we have.

So, here’s to a fresh, shiny year.

A beautiful, brand new decade.

As always…I am hopeful.

But, mostly – I am grateful.

 

 

#33 – *FRAUD*

October 19, 2019 /

Bee Hive has been through a lot. And not quite back on its feet. But, things have been hopeful. New website – new beginning.

After being so focused on keeping the doors open – it did not occur to me that someone would ever actually do any harm – consciously – to the store. Would ever try to steal from it or cause financial chaos. It just wasn’t on my radar. In my mind, I thought the whole world knew that Bee Hive was in the process of rebuilding. Working to get stronger. That every little detail, interaction, transaction – positive or negative – truly mattered.

I was not on my guard. Did not listen to the voice inside my head that was saying – This is fishy.

Instead, I was choosing to believe that things were turning around and this sale was a result of a lot of hard work. Things were turning around. And, this person was truly interested in supporting a small independent kids’ book store in New Mexico.

Even though he is in California. And ordering very random, expensive textbooks from me through an email exchange.

It was a large sale. Certainly way more then an average day in September for Bee Hive. He paid with a credit card, via email, for a few textbooks – several hundred dollars each – and had me priority ship them to him.

I did what he requested. Feeling a little weirded out about it – but super grateful, nonetheless, along the way.

It wasn’t until after the books had been sent and received by him – that I got the notice.

There had been a chargeback. The Bee Hive was accused by the cardholder of fraudulent activity. The sale was reversed and the money was taken out of the Bee Hive account.

I was confused. I read the email quite a few times trying to understand. And then I felt like I had been physically assaulted. And, I had a hard time breathing for a bit.

The Bee Hive was accused by the cardholder of fraudulent activity. The sale was reversed and the money was taken out of the Bee Hive account.

But, then I knew. Exactly.

The story from here gets tedious and uncomfortable, but briefly, I contested the chargeback using the email exchanges – including him giving me the credit card number – and tracking information that the package had been mailed and received. My rebuttal was refused. The name and email did not match the name and email on the account.

Aren’t businesses protected from fraudulent activity? I asked (cried)

NO. And, in fact, I took a verbal lashing from my merchant services company about all the ways I had screwed up.

Because…this was all my fault…

And then there was another chargeback for the shipping charges. Different credit card used for that charge.

And the fees from the merchant services company for the chargebacks. And the fees for the Bee Hive account being overdrawn, because of the lack of funds in it due to the chargebacks.

And so – after a long few day of utter despair – I sat down on my floor at home (house was empty), and surrendered.

I am done. I can’t do this anymore. I get it…Bee Hive has run its course. It is over.

And then in the midst of my breakdown – I got clear.

No way. After everything, no way is this a**hole going to be the reason the Bee Hive goes down.

You know?

The only way I can get any money back is if I go after the guy myself. And, I don’t have the resources or council or, frankly, the energy or time, to do what that takes.

I filed a police report. And, wrote the guy strongly requesting that going forward, he leave small businesses alone. Please.

Honestly, I don’t know if Bee Hive is long for this world.

I am sort of looking at this as going either one of two ways:

This is the straw that breaks the camel’s back: Bee Hive can’t catch up financially after this, and everything else, and it is over.

Or:

This is an important lesson for me, of the necessary caution I need to use from here on out, in order to continue on for several years to come.

Time will tell…

 

 

 

#32 – Onward…

July 11, 2019 /

What does it take to save, and then sustain, a struggling, community-based small business?

Two different business lawyers.

One crew of five UNM Anderson School of Management graduate students and a tenured associate business professor.

Meetings with the City of Santa Fe mayor. Business Development representatives. Guadalupe District small business owners. Historical Board. City Council.

Countless conversations persuading landlord, business loan representatives, credit card companies, suppliers….to, please… just…hold on…

A GoFundMe Campaign
(That literally kept the store running for much of this year. Thank you again and again to everyone who so generously supported Bee Hive with monetary and moral support ❤️)

Except…

Both lawyers – vanished.
(Pro bono, so certainly under no obligation to stick around)

Crew of business students – graduated. Bee Hive was their final thesis project. They crunched numbers and produced statistics – and then…the project was over.

City of Santa Fe: Here’s a meeting room. You figure it out.

Everyone who is looking to be paid – still talking to them.

Superman did not swoop in.

At the end of the day. Saving the Bee Hive was no one’s problem…but my own.

And so…

It made sense that what needed to happen had to be outside of the little white house on Montezuma Avenue. Outside of the transitioning – parking challenged – construction zone – very, very quiet – Guadalupe District.

“Superman did not swoop in.

At the end of the day. Saving the Bee Hive was no one’s problem…but my own.”

I realized that who I needed to turn to were other booksellers. People who are killing it in the industry.

And somehow…

I found those people.

They’re in Canada.

I was checking out websites of bookstores I think are particularly awesome, and I came across one that seemed kind of perfect. I called the number of the company that designed the site – thinking they were just webdesign.

Instead, I stumbled upon this network of incredibly experienced, very, very smart, and hugely supportive booksellers who designed the software that, I feel, will help Bee Hive reach out past the white house on Montezuma Avenue.

After many, many weeks of number crunching, strategizing, mulling – and then – inventory transferring, learning, training, designing – Bee Hive has, literally, been transformed.

What is now the presence of Bee Hive on the internet – is not just a pretty face – although, I believe, it is quite pretty. It is a resource in which any book at all (not just kids’ books) – as long as Bee Hive can get it – and our distributors are far and wide – can be ordered. If we don’t have it in store – then you can order it online and have it either shipped, or it can be picked up at Bee Hive. And, of course, you are able to see all the inventory that is in stock, and hold a book via the website to be picked up later. You can also sign up for an independent audio book service; schools can order any and all of their books through the Bee Hive website – always tax exempt and 15% off. Book subscription services are available; as well as purchasing gift certificates, and signing up for writing workshops.

This is what shook out of many sleepless nights, explored avenues, and knowing – that there was an answer.

I am hopeful that Bee Hive will be able to contribute to our community in a broader way by offering easy, discounted book ordering for schools; and super accessible information about our free community-focused events, as well as simple sign-up for writing workshops. And outside of our community, we will be able to reach people by offering awesome subscription services – curated books by genre that are sent out each month. And for everyone – book ordering made super easy. You can shop online at midnight – and still support your local bookstore.

Bee Hive is, and always has been, here for you — but we’ve needed to meet you half-way, so now, we’re even coming to you.

The idea is to turn it around so to be at a Beginning, of sorts. Rather, than facing the End.

I hope this website becomes your go-to when you’re in search of a book. That’s exactly what its made for.

Please check out and explore Bee Hive’s beautiful new site:

http://www.beehivekidsbooks.com

May it become a bookmark on your toolbar….

xox

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#31 – The Agony and The Ecstasy (In Honor of Mother’s Day)

May 3, 2019 /

I recently requested that my daughter do her library holds all at once – at the beginning of the week – so that we could make our trips to the library on a weekly basis, rather then on a daily basis. I asked this of her because even though I am, for sure, her Uber driver – first and foremost – it would be helpful for me if we could keep my job – as her Uber driver – as efficient as possible. Because, you know, there are many, many other jobs that are also in need of my attention.

There is the Uber driving. And the shopping. The cooking. The cleaning – on occasion. The nursing. The hair brushing. The refereeing. The diagnosing. The laundry-ing. The counseling. The singing. The story telling. The soothing. The listening. The hoop-shooting. The hand-holding. The game and performance attending. The supporting. The reminding. The question-answering. The dancing. The reading. The out-the-door ushering. The adventuring. The learning. The encouraging. The snuggling. The guiding. The requesting. The math assisting. The pancake flipping. The crying. The reassuring. The explaining. The laughing. The breathing.

The loving….

It is all complex. And challenging. And beautiful.

And very, very real.

My own experience as someone’s child didn’t lend me my ideal models. And so, I have struck out on this parenting endeavor to be the kind of mother, to Cash and Olive, that I always wanted for myself.

It has been a little like hiking on a trail you’ve never been on before – you don’t know what is going to be up ahead. Or where you’ll be able to stop for lunch. Or what sort of weather you may have.

And while the trail has definitely been steeper in some places then others.

It is all complex. And challenging. And beautiful.

And very, very real.

It has been the most gorgeous outing of my life.

Because while I may play all the aforementioned roles – my children also play many, many roles.

They make me laugh. And think. And consider things. They awe me with their talent. Their curiosity is contagious. They remind me to tread lightly on this earth. They are my Number One fans. They keep me company. They inspire me. They give me kisses, and big, huge, real hugs. They energize me. They make me want to make the world a just and fair place. They brighten my days. They remind me to be playful. They keep me present. They stoke the desire in me to be good. And true. They fill my heart. And strengthen my determination.

I so appreciate that there is a day to honor Mothers and all that they do. All that they are.

But, for me, it is my children, who have nurtured me. Healed me. Coaxed me to grow.

They are my greatest teachers.

It is such an honor to be their Uber driver.

And to hold each others’ hands through the joy and the pain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#30 – “What is a record store?”

February 27, 2019 /

The other day, while driving, we passed a kid walking down the street with headphones on. My son, Cash, declared, “I want a Walkman.”

“To play discs or cassettes?” I asked.

“Cassettes,” he replied
(To get an idea of my 8-year-old son’s precocious interest in music, please see: The Bee Hive Chronicles #6 – The Rock History Schooling of a 7-year-old – http://www.thebeehivechronicles.com/6-the-rock-history-schooling-of-a-7-year-old/ )

“What are cassettes?” Olive asked

I then went on to explain what cassettes were. And how you buy them in record stores. Same as records or cds.

The next question just about left me speechless…

“What is a record store?”

My younger self – the one that spent many, many, many hours of her adolescent and young adult life flipping through bins and bins of records, cassettes, and cds in record stores in San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Portland and any town or city I happened to be in between – would have thought you were joking if you would have told her that some day her daughter would ask the question – “What is a record store?”

And so, I have given this a lot of thought.

Of course, I am partially to blame for my daughter’s lack of knowledge (Cash was up on record stores) of what a record store is. Both my kids’ deep interest in music has so effortlessly been accommodated by the ease of Apple Music and Spotify. Whatever they are curious about or whatever I want to play for them, so simple to access. Playlists created with a simple tap (Oh – the sweet toil of making a mixed tape! Such a labor of love….). That I have failed to educate them on what my own music hunting experience was up until not that, relatively, long ago.

“My younger self….would have thought you were joking if you would have told her that some day her daughter would ask the question – “What is a record store?”

As I fight to sustain my business, an independent book store, it is a bitter pill to swallow – one that feels a bit like foreshadowing – to realize that record stores are not as common as they once were. That the experience of your heart stopping from excitement when you discover, as you thumb through records or flip through plastic-encased cassettes or cds, an obscure album  by your favorite band or a single you didn’t know existed by a musician you love – that that experience is something totally different now. That experience now – is a little less dimensional. And without that connection to discovery. Connection to the music-lovers flipping next to you. Connection to the committed diehards who run and work in record stores. And, and this is a big one,  without the delicious anticipation. The anticipation of getting to where ever it is that you will play that precious record or cassette or cd – for the first time.

I feel that Olive has the same awe and obsession and attachment to book stores as, perhaps, I did for record stores. She literally goes into the Bee Hive and just smells the books. Opens them up and breathes in. Though she is eleven, she studies the illustrations of each picture book she hasn’t seen before. She will sit in a corner and get completely lost in the magic of chapter books for hours. And then – she goes home and compiles the list of which books she is going to read when and where, and in what order.

What I would love, is for her to not have to  experience her kids asking her one day – “What is a book store?”

But is it inevitable?

I don’t believe so.

I truly don’t.

I have faith.

Faith that we are aware enough as a species to not allow books to become charming relics that hipsters use to decorate their houses with. But, rather, we will hold on tight and they will continue to delight us. Teach us. Nurture us. Connect us….

And book stores will remain the places we go to in order to be around the people. Our people. The ones that open books and breath deeply. The ones that go away with that sweet anticipation of the moment they will get to start reading. The ones who may not have been delighted by a story the same way you were, but respect your perspective nonetheless. The ones that just – get it.

A quote – by a poet that I love so much – has been lately playing over and over in my head a lot. And so, I have claimed it as my mantra…

“Do not go gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light”
— Dylan Thomas

For the sake of my future grandchildren and all the beautiful moments, life-changing connections, and profound experiences that I want for them –

I will never stop raging.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#29 – GoFundMe

January 22, 2019 /

When I opened the Bee Hive in 2011 – my eyes were wide – shut. I had no idea what I was doing. Or what cards I was holding as far as what I was facing with transitions in commerce; transitions in the neighborhood; transitions in the world… I was blindly gambling.

I would like to say that had my eyes been wide open and the gamble not so blind – I probably wouldn’t have done it. Just to sound like I am somewhat of a reasonable person. And I do consider myself a reasonable person. But, truthfully, I am a pretty mystical person as well. And in this particular case, I think its necessary to tap into my mystical tendencies. Had the situation of my knowledge about what I was getting into, when I opened the Bee Hive, been any different then what it was; then most likely – there would have been no Bee Hive. So I choose to look at my lack of knowledge as a mystical set-up. It was a necessity. Or else the Bee Hive would not have been conceived at all…

I can’t really describe the focus and determination that has gone into keeping the Bee Hive afloat. And, honestly, the experience of it starting to go under feels a lot like drowning – that sensation of not having enough oxygen and being suddenly out of control – gasping for air, for light, for buoyancy. And yet, the idea of another small, community-oriented business going away at this moment in time – just doesn’t seem like an okay option. For me. Thus, the continued determination.

Except that last year Bee Hive experienced such a downturn in business, that I found myself using my personal savings – to cover expenses. As a single mother with very limited resources – regardless of my determination – I realized that trying to keep the Bee Hive afloat – as it has been – by myself – is impossible. And not at all smart.

“And, honestly, the experience of it starting to go under feels a lot like drowning – that sensation of not having enough oxygen and being suddenly out of control – gasping for air, for light, for buoyancy.”

I was at a  holiday gathering speaking with an old friend about the state of the Bee Hive. She described how she thought that small community-oriented businesses, such as the Bee Hive, should be supported by the community – like non-profits. It got me thinking…Maybe, I don’t have to do this on my own. Maybe, turning the Bee Hive into a non-profit (officially) could be an option. Maybe, in the meantime, I could reach out to the amazing community that enjoys the connection that Bee Hive fosters through story times, book clubs, writing workshops, and just through coming in the store – and ask for help.

So not easy.

But, with a holiday season at an all-time low and January – the quietest month of the year – looming. I felt that I had no choice. If I wanted to try to keep the Bee Hive from drowning. I had to ask for help.

One morning a couple of weeks ago, my daughter, Olive, told me she cried herself to sleep the night before.

“Why, honey?” I asked.

“Because I am afraid the Bee Hive is going to close.”

Oh man.

I can handle a lot. Except, letting my kids down.

And, what about all of Bee Hive’s kids?

No way.

Is it ridiculous to think that, I, an independent business owner of a very small kids’ book store in a small town, can continue to go up against all the challenges and very dominating powers that be?

Maybe.

But, I am not ready to give up yet. And let Bee Hive’s kids down. I do have some financial ground to make up for.  But, I also have some smart people to help me figure out what next steps would be best, in order to keep the Bee Hive sustainable.

And, there is the mystical element at play. The fact that the Bee Hive is supposed to be in existence.

And, maybe, we can all be in this together.

Because, I believe, we need to stay connected. As a community. As humans. As book and story-lovers. And kid-lovers. And Santa Fe-lovers.

We gotta hold on.

 

https://www.gofundme.com/7mkwec-bee-hive

 

 

 

 

 

#28 – Gratitude (part three)

October 9, 2018 /

The media has been feeding us an endless stream of really challenging news, for a long time.

And it feels as if there may be no end in sight.

So, once again – to balance things out – a random list of things that are pretty great…

The swath of neon brilliance that blankets the earth for a brief period of time every fall, is enough to make you breathe a great big sigh of grateful disbelief.  Mother Nature is an incredibly benevolent magician to provide us with this show, and the light that it casts, year after year.

Recently, we were on a raspberry picking expedition in wondrous (see above) northern New Mexico. On the drive home – windblown, an excellent soundtrack on, books in their laps, bellies full of berries, a riot of scenic color outside the window – Olive made an indiscernible sound. Cash and I both asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she answered, with a serene smile on her face. “I’m just happy.”
A pause.
“Me, too,” said Cash
“Meee, too.” I concurred
At the end of the day, aren’t joyful humans, decent humans? Just fill our kids up with simple things: awesome music, good stories, fresh food, and adventures. Perhaps keep them away from all they don’t need to know, in the moment, for as long as possible. Keep the anticipation. The magic. The gratitude. The wonder of it all – alive as long as possible. Simple tools. And maybe the only ones our kids need in order to lead us into a hopeful future.

“At the end of the day, aren’t joyful humans, decent humans? Just fill our kids up with simple things: awesome music, good stories, fresh food, and adventures.”

The other day, a man wandered into the Bee Hive. It was during a particularly rough patch in current events. He asked me, “Are there kids’ books that teach children to be decent humans?”
It caught me off guard a bit. “Um.” I looked around the store. All I saw were golden tomes of acceptance. Courage. Perspective. Compassion. Decency.
“I believe so.”
“God, I hope so.”
And off he went.
I’ve given it a lot of thought since that encounter. And I truly believe that kids’ books – for all different age ranges – are where it’s at. The good ones – and there are countless – are full of characters of all different ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds, family situations, mental and physical health conditions, gender and sexual orientations, and in various stages of the awkward, challenging, confusing adolescence process. These sensitive, broad-ranging, wide-scoped stories are preparing our kids to be all-accepting, open-hearted, compassionate, non-judgemental individuals.

There is this song by Jim Morrison that I sort of happened upon. It is a rich, twangy, melodic instrumental that landed in my Spotify song library. Every time it comes on – its joyful string perfection. It came on in the car recently and Cash sighed – “I love this song.”
“Me too.”
“Where did you find it?” he asked
“I don’t remember. But its a pretty good score, right?”
“So good.”
Those little, unexpected gifts that find their way into your life – songs, people, a quote, an experience. You’re not sure how or where or when. But you do know that your life is so much more lovely since they arrived. And you can’t quite remember what you did without them.

Gouda goat cheese shredded onto a slice of fresh, crusty bread – put under the broiler so that the cheese gets melt-y and crispy, but the bread stays soft
= pure gratitude.

#27 – Mobilizing A Neighborhood

September 6, 2018 /

Since Day One, I’ve always believed completely in the intention behind Bee Hive. I have felt, and still feel, that building community and connection and getting books in the hands of kids of all ages, transcends any modern-day challenges that face independent book stores. I have remained steadfast in that belief. That vision. That mission.

But, man, when I reached the fifth year of being open and business started dropping at a consistent rate (Year 5 is supposed to be the year that cinches your security in the Small Business world. You make it to that point – you are established), the doubt, not just my own, but all the collected doubt of everyone and everything that has made a business like mine pretty challenging, seeps in. And its like your climbing uphill. Every. Single. Day.

For two years, business has continued to decline. Bee Hive will hit 7 years in November and I often find myself wondering if the glory years – of the first five – are behind me.

I recently had the opportunity to meet my town’s Mayor. And, I really didn’t hold back. I told him that my business was the only one of its kind in the state. And I was struggling. And did he really want a store like mine to go away? Something needs to be done. And quick. I suggested a Block Party for our neighborhood. Maybe we could bring people back by drumming up some energy. He was into it, but asked me to get in touch with my neighbors to gauge interest. And so, with the help of Laura, an awesome Bee Hive sales-associate, we collected contact information for the neighborhood. And I sent word out about a Block Party.

What came back were stories just like my own. Struggle. Business downturn. What happened to the neighborhood? Where is everyone? Business owners of twenty years testifying they have never seen things this dire. This quiet. This…dead.

“How long can a town go with a lifeless Main Street? Isn’t a town only as vibrant as the area that represents it?”

Here’s the thing. Bee Hive’s neighborhood is Main Street, Santa Fe. It historically has been where locals have gone to shop, hang out, eat, go to the Farmer’s Market, go to the movies. But somehow with the emptying out of the anchor shopping area in order to turn it into a school, parking becoming less and more expensive, and the area being in a state of transition for longer than its been able to sustain – Main Street, Santa Fe has had the life sucked out of it. At 11:00 on a Tuesday or 4:00 on a Thursday – it is a ghost town. Saturdays – which used to be bustling at Bee Hive – are dead. Here’s the other thing – how long can a town go with a lifeless Main Street? Isn’t a town only as vibrant as the area that represents it?

Once I discovered that it wasn’t just me – my business – I contacted the Mayor and told him the extent of the situation. Forget the Block Party! This is in need of way more attention. I then met with some city representatives and NO ONE knew! And my poor neighbors! Everyone thought it was just them. Their struggle. Their businesses. Everyone has slowly been drowning. Quietly. On their own.

Business owners, city officials, landlords, etc. will be meeting with the Mayor soon to discuss how to address the issues the Guadalupe neighborhood has been facing. Hopefully we can start to be seen again. Heard. Thrown some life rafts.

In the mean time, neighbors have been dropping by the store on a regular basis – sharing their stories, their ideas for action, and just…talking. Grateful to not be the only ones anymore.

And, honestly, I feel like new life has been breathed into the Bee Hive. For the first time in such a long time I feel like, maybe, my days aren’t numbered. Maybe, with an army of help, people will come back. Maybe the so-called reasons for the doubts that have been creeping into my intentions, my mission, my vision – are bull shit.

But mostly – I’m just so grateful for my neighborhood.

And to not be alone anymore.

#26 – Olive’s Happy Place

August 2, 2018 /

Now that my daughter, Olive, has figured out how to access the Public Library’s computer system from home – it is not uncommon for us to go by the library on a daily basis for her to run in and grab her reserved books. There have been times that I’ve suggested we skip it and go another day.

“But, Mommy. The library is my Happy Place.”

“Well, actually…the Bee Hive is my Happy Place. The Library is my second Happy Place.”

Right.

How the heck can I argue with that?

And, honestly, those are two of my Happiest – indoor – Places too. Bee Hive being first of course.

When I was in college I spent hours in The Stacks. Hiding away among the cool, countless shelves of  books – I think I did homework? It is perhaps the reason I was an English major – just so I’d have a reason to be absorbed by the library. I then later worked in the library. And always was the first to volunteer to shelve. I much rather interact with the books then my fellow students. The books offered comfort and flow. The fellow students – not really at all.

I am aware on a constant basis that the Bee Hive is a Happy Place for potentially many people – primarily of the kid variety.

When parents are trying to get their kids to leave and maybe the kids aren’t ready to  – they are in a state of complete absorption – and maybe the kids get upset and refuse to leave using their own abilities, so maybe the parents have to pick up the kids and physically drag them out of the store. And it may be that the kids are screaming. That has maybe happened once or twice.

Who wants to ever leave a Happy Place? A place where you feel totally comfortable and present.

I totally get it though. They have found a Happy Place. And who wants to ever leave a Happy Place? A place where you feel totally comfortable and present.

I have moments when the Bee Hive is a source of complete and utter anxiety. How am I going to pay the rent? How will I cover the taxes? Is that check going to clear? It is often in the depth of the night that this anxiety comes on. And then, the next morning I walk in the store, I breath in the smell of the books and am embraced by the bright energy. I immediately feel at ease in my Happy Place, and I know – all will be okay.

Because Happy Places carry the responsibility of not letting their people down. Of being around the corner when you need them to be. Of providing sanctuary and relief from the rest of the world. Happy Places aren’t allowed to go away.

Olive is very much her own person. But she and I definitely share Happy Places in common. And I am in full support of having specified Happy Places – even if that means taking daily trips to the Public Library. That Olive has places where she feels at ease and joyful and totally present is a huge blessing.

We gotta fight for the Happy Places.

Without them – there would just be a bunch of ordinary places.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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